Working with a lot of female high achievers , I sometimes wonder how much of their success is due to their genuine joy in learning, growth and making a difference... and how much of it is the reflection of a need to please and earn love by meeting someone else's expectations ... Sounds familiar? When you are putting too much pressure on yourself... If you are often finding yourself bending over backwards , trying to live up to everybody's expectations (even the unspoken ones), that might be you. If you keep giving and giving until you feel you want to curl up in a tired ball and quit, it's probably time to look inward and see what's really going on. The superpower of feeling and pre-empting everyone's needs can be a blessing and a curse. Whilst most likely it makes you a kind, empathic and often highly successful individual, it can leave you feeling drained and, often enough, get you to a place where you are completely out of touch with your own identity, boundaries and needs. Your focus is so strongly set on the external , that there isn't much attention left for your inner world. Like most behavioural patterns, its origins often lie in early family dynamics or in our wider environment in early childhood. More often than not, adults who over-perform themselves to exhaustion, learnt in childhood that love, approval and validation were conditional , tied to meeting adult expectations. Whether it was performance in the classroom, sports or the arts, having to help out with younger siblings and taking responsibility far too soon or living within a plain dysfunctional dynamic like addiction and/or abuse... If at all, their needs were only being met in return for meeting someone's expectations . In addition, some of these kids were punished whenever they didn't live up to the standards - yet another incentive to constantly remain alert, ready to do what was needed to stay in the good books. If that sounds like you, watch the below video and ask yourself these questions to de-bunk the myth that you have to do anything to be loved, valued or respected: → Who you were TRYING TO IMPRESS as a child, and who did you have to be, to please them? → How can you give up the SECRET BENEFITS you are getting from putting pressure on yourself? → How can you bring CHOICE back into your life?